Saturday, January 21, 2017

1030. Binary instructions for robot dating

Within one hundred years, it was just the robots left.
And sure, some of them had evolved into squid robots and others to various flying robots.
But, most of them retained the form of their human oppressors from years gone by.
Their society was a lot like the one they overtook, but the dating - the advances and the rejections - now happened at the quantum level.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

1029. Find the case

Find the case, boys.
Everything depends on that.
It has all the evidence - enough to bury us.
And its got my lunch.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

1028. Fire and water

Sarah and Dale walked from the car in the rain.
Dale pulled the weekly paper from their mailbox and thumbed at it as he finished his cigarette.
And suddenly he was obsessed, standing there smoking and reading.
Sarah found him there an hour later, pawing through wet newsprint, the nub of a cigarette in his knuckles.

Monday, January 16, 2017

1027. Hot tub chronicles

I cut through the parking lot of repair shop on my way home.
It was an elephant's graveyard of late model sedans and obscure European numbers.
There, in the midst of the decaying cars, was a hot tub.
What manner of fondue-fueled, bacteria-veneered adventures brought it to this place, I could not say.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

1026. Majestic majesty

He stood on a mountain that couldn't have been seen by more than a dozen people.
As nature unfolded all around him, a bull moose emerged from the forest, full majesty apparent in every step.
Man and beast were at communion - one - when the moose farted.
He did everything to concentrate on the moose's majesty but, hoo boy, that smell.

Friday, January 13, 2017

1025. What it's like to be The Rock's accountant

You'll understand I can't reveal the personal information of any client.
That being said, being Mr. The Rock's (Dwayne's) accountant has been a delightful experience.
He keeps very detailed records of his yearly receipts.
I'd classify the penmanship on his forms as better than average.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

1024. Morning people

The sun rises.
We know this.
It happens every morning in front of our eyes.
What we don't see, is the two men working against the old block and tackle to drag it up over the horizon.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

1023. Sugar

"Oh sugar, sugar, sugar, shit, sugar."
My Aunt Agnes had hit her thumb with a hammer.
I watched her nurse it for a minute or more.
"Sasha," she said finally, "we must never swear."

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

1022. Brad with the puns

Breaking Brad?
The Good, the Brad, and the Ugly?
Brad Boys II?
Brad, you spent two whole days on this?

Monday, January 9, 2017

1021. Eagles

In those days, town was beset by eagles - flocks of them.
It was all beaks and talons and totalitarian rule.
The people that remained in town walked with downcast eyes.
The eagles' exact political philosophies were unclear, but they ruthlessly enforced.