Tuesday, October 25, 2016

999. Fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth horsemen of the apocalypse

Trump, obviously.
Giant comet.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

998. Hotel of Horror: 3.5 Stars

Why are all the bathtubs in our hotel coffin-shaped?
Because it's a spooooky hotel, I'll tell you.
I'm kidding.
There was an eight percent discount on them from our fixture supplier.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

997. Game changer

"This new deep fryer is going to be a game changer," she said.
She was leaning in to whisper at her colleagues in the matching polos.
Her eyes had the look of someone gripped with a fever.
"A game changer," she said again, to no one in particular.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

996. Not Ralph

An electric tea kettle is not Ralph.
Neither Bactrian nor dromedary camels are Ralph.
The several stools at your local diner are not Ralph.
Only Ralph is Ralph, and he knows this.